Why People Who Never Ask Fail In Business! 3

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“All you have to do is ask”, “two heads are better than one”, “a problem shared is a problem halved”, “no man is an island”, I’m sure I could keep going. Isn’t asking for help from others an obvious suggestion? When we can’t solve a problem don’t we ask for advice? Don’t we reach out to some one else to get their opinion when we don’t understand or are looking for guidance? When we don’t have adequate resources to get something done don’t we look for support? Guys always ask for directions when they are unsure of where they are going, don’t they?

Of course, this is very often not the path chosen by individuals today, whether they are on Wall Street or Main Street. People are afraid to reach out. When under pressure, rather than conceding and asking for help, people say things they don’t understand, make recommendations they don’t believe in, respond on the spur of the moment with a statement that simply isn’t true or just implode or dry up! The consequence of this behavior is almost always credibility degradation and the beginnings of a career growth headwind. I’ve seen this trait in ambitious young engineers, middle managers, executives and in my own life over the course of my career. In the case of executives many of these individuals are great leaders but imagine how much better they could be if they discovered the ability to acknowledge when they didn’t know something and simply ask! The irony is, of course, since they don’t possess this character trait they will never ask and therefore probably never know the real answer!

Why does this happen? Surely this is a simple one to solve. Once again we find ourselves fighting our natural instincts, some are better than others at it but in the same way as humility is a counter-intuitive skill, the same is true here. One of the main reasons is “pride” or “saving face” and the burning desire to look good in front of peers and superiors. What goes through your mind when you are unsure of something in a training class for example, “I can’t be seen not to know the answer”, “I have to say something”, “People will think I’m stupid, no one else has asked that question”. Of course no one else has asked it because more often than not we are all in the same boat! We think we are the only ones feeling that way but the opposite is true! In fact the next time you find yourself in that position go ahead and take a risk, ask the question! You may find that someone will approach you afterwards and say “I’m glad you spoke up when you did, I didn’t really know what they were talking about either”. Of course, there are those who feed on questions from the audience, keeping a personal tally of how many questions directed to the speaker they can intercept and shoot down like a WWII fighter pilot but frankly they usually crash and burn eventually so they should be ignored.

Consider a situation when you are looking for additional resources to accomplish a task or project. Maybe you need staff from another department or perhaps you don’t have enough money to kick start your new business? Common thoughts in the business environment include the belief in your mind that it is expected that you take care of the problem and solve it with the resources you have. You are convinced that the expectation is that you and you alone have to deliver the goods. In a personal scenario you don’t want to ask for help because you believe it declares defeat. Maybe you will be seen as a failure by your family if you ask for money? The bottom line is if you are in a situation where help to manage your plans will be beneficial then you should reach out! Make it a habit and a permanent part of your strategy. The interesting thing about this approach is that in many circumstances if you don’t ask for help early on, as things get worse you will end up flailing in desperation anyway and at that point your thinking is clouded by a level of urgency that would not have been there if you had acted sooner. At the end of the day “you don’t know if you don’t ask!”. In many cases people respect those that look for support and assistance. Steve Jobs once said when asked about the secrets of his success “I’ve never found anybody that didn’t want to help me if I asked them for help”, most people never pick up the phone and call, most people never ask and that’s what separates sometimes the people that do things from the people that just dream about them.”

Well, that’s today’s chat. Hopefully it strikes a chord with someone, somewhere!

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